TRUE LIES: DO WE REALLY WANT OUR ICONS TO COME TO LIFE?

A comic book version of Arnold’s iconic status, originally presented at the “Holy Men in Tights: A Superheroes Conference”, University of Melbourne, Australia in 2005 and published in their journal, Refractory. It is not longer functioning there so here is a version of it.

Just when I thought it was safe to start doing a Terminator on my Arnold Schwarzenegger archives now that the End of Days is near, Arnold comes back into the news with a True Lies bombshell that takes an Eraser to all doubts that the Last Action Hero will ever be terminated in our collective eye. Arnold has had sudden Total Recall, just remembering he forgot to mention theJunior Arnold who pitter-pattered around the household for ten year: at least it wasn’t Twins! Since ending his Governator role (but revising it soon in a cartoon and comic book), Arnold has become The Running Man, showing up Around the World in 80 Days to sell himself once again in his classic Stay Hungry mode. Whatever Red Heat he gets from this latest Raw Deal probably won’t have much of an impact on Arnold’s movie deals and he will probably still Jingle All The Way to the bank. The Collateral Damage on us, the folks who elevated him to iconic status, is minor because this Predator behavior has become so commonplace it barely warrants aCommando response: the Twitter feeds about this are more funny than outraged.

On The 6th Day in the story of Genesis, God created the wild beasts and told them to be fruitful and multiply. Just saying…Perhaps the Kindergarten Cop just needed to keep the franchise going. So The Long Goodbye is here for us all. No longer a Hercules in New York or any other civilized place, the Arnold-icon may be finally permanently tarnished and even the muscle of Conan the Barbarian or a Red Sonja could not clean it.

I’ve co-authored (with Michael Blitz) two books about Arnold Schwarzenegger (Why Arnold Matter: The Rise of a Cultural Icon  and  Arnold Schwarzenegger: A Biography) and through all the research and writing for those books (and the hundreds of actual dreams about Arnold that accompanied the work) I’ve seen Arnold as a character who defies all explanation and who resists all rules. In the very first dream in our collection (20 years ago), Michael Blitz dreamed that, “Arnold Schwarzenegger comes to my door and says ‘I hear you are doing a book about me.’ He then tells me that Maria Shriver thought that she could find out about him by peeling away his layers like an onion. But he says that the only way anyone will find out about him is by breaking him into little pieces.” Whether Maria peeled that onion or someone has broken him into little pieces is what we may find out next.

For a comic book version of Arnold’s iconic roles, check this issue of REFRACTORY, an Australian media journal.